I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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