i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
