I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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