ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
