i don't like sucking hair
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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