I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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