i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
