Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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