Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
