I wannas sexs uuuuu
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
