Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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