There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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