Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
