i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
