thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
