wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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