so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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