Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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