I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
