Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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