Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
