When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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