Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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