One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
