Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize