trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
