This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
