JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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