I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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