4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
420 ftw
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize