I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize