I want to walk on stilts...naked
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
