He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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