so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
