I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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