??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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