Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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