what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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