So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
