she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize