awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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