my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
