he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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