that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
