boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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