We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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