I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
