We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
