I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
