he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
