If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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