It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
