Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
