I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
