my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
