all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
