Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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