yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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