She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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