the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
